It's occured to me.

February 10, 2012

That all this “get over it” and “gosh, it’s not personal” shit is connected. No one wants to believe they’re complicit in someone else’s pain… unless they’re an admitted douche, which is somewhat different and not what I’m referring to here. All this denial, all these excuses for why these folks are decent people and how very dare anyone imply that they’re not, is connected.

Folks are so very invested in being “reasonable” and “objective” about everything that they get outraged at anyone even implying that they’re wrong to have that particular “opinion” about it. That their view of a situation is incorrect, completely fallacious, or flat-out douchey is inconceivable, because they arrived at their “conclusion” through “reasonable” deduction. And they act like it’s a fucking insult to their integrity or a libelous slight against them personally when someone reacts negatively to their unwanted opinion.

I see it play out with many different things, but the pattern remains starkly the same every time. And the excuses are a goddamn script by now. I can predict then word for fucking word, including caveats and strawmen.

The nerve of us to react strongly when our experiences are brushed aside or interrogated for some arbitrary level of “proof” that we’re not making it up or exaggerating. Or playing a trump card to win an internet argument. Because clearly if we describe the ways something hurts us, we’re accusing someone of hurting us and that’s terrible! Not, of course, that we’ve been hurt by them, but that we’re daring to point fingers and blame someone. Someone who “meant well” or “has good intentions” or is “a decent person” shouldn’t be accused and blamed for causing someone pain.

And that’s basically saying that we deserve it, and if you can’t see why we hurt, you’re part of the problem. Furthermore, if you act like your hurt feelings from being blamed or accused are equivalent to ours for being hurt by your “careless” words, you are a complete douche. Take a fucking seat and shut up forever.